Give and Take

You see I don’t have mentors in this small mountain community of 4,ooo. Not that this town is void of them, the mentors haven’t yet found me. Found me, how pompous can I be? I have sought for few and I have found none, but I don’t know if I sought for any I would find one. I am cynical, I have been spoiled by the environment I taught in. My students, my colleagues and my mentors fed me , I don’t know if I fed them. I don’t think that we have to feed those that feed us with the same food they feed us. Maybe that is one of the lessons that motherhood teaches us, our children and our husband do not feed us with the same food that we feed them. Mothers, many times, look at feeding their children as a boring chore, and many times it is, but what if it is simply an investment into the energy stash for the food they feed us. And does this change if we eat out? I don’t know. But in the give and take of associations we should not expect to receive exactly what we give; we should be prepared to receive something completely different, surprised by a gift that we could not have guessed, that we could not have orchestrated, that we could not have given ourselves. So each person we meet is simply a giver of gifts. What will they give you? I knew a family that gave money to a women seemingly in need. The women needed cash for medicine, gas and groceries. There was no accountability for the money that she spent. It just so happens that the money was spent to pay the cable bill and support her adult son’s video gaming habit. What the needy women gave the giving family was a sense of righteousness, a sense goodness and sense of ‘being needed’. But this is not what our relationships should be giving us, this is not the purpose for which we were created. I am not saying we shouldn’t help people, but the association created when you are giving to either receive the same thing or receive nothing but a feeling of righteousness is not giving at all; it is actually taking, and in taking there is no creating. So in your associations, which include partners, children and colleagues, are you accepting what they are giving you? Are you fully enjoying what you are giving them? This give and take is simply common sense and the only environment where pure charity can thrive.